Fraggle Rock, my take on this

After consulting with Galen on whether or not Fraggle Rock would count for this series, I was advised that it having been geared towards kids, added to the fact that there was an animated version of it produced (more on that later) as well, that it would count just fine to be posted on.

Fun fact: Jim Henson, of Muppets fame, was the creator of Fraggle Rock, and it came on HBO here in the states up to and through syndication. I was 4 years old at the outset and 8 when it "ended" and remember intently (after we moved in with my grandmother at age 5) getting up to watch it when we got cable.
What we had in this show was a message more wholesome than we have come to expect from an HBO show of any kind. Brilliant in the depiction of differing groups working together for the greater good of their 'world' in the face of their fundamental differences, despite their not knowing what they contributed to one anothers' existences. Facing things without dumbing them down, while still maintaining a presentation that was entertaining to children at the time.
[Phlip note - and to adults right now, to be dead assed honest with you]
That is not to say it is not without silliness, not in the very least. Hell, the first point of silliness comes with the very premise of big-nose multicolored "things" living underground and singing songs and shit.
It was kinda like what I might imagine an acid trip to be like if I was into drugs like that.
The group seemed to do not much more than just chill out and have adventures, and it is yet unclear how many Fraggles there actually were outside of the main characters. We DO know that they lived on radishes and Doozer Sticks -- the structural parts of the building projects the 1/3-sized when compared to a Fraggle were always building -- with no particular reason other than to be eaten by the Fraggles...
Think on this for a second, people. The Doozers would build the structures, which I imagine were something like a candy to the Fraggles, made of the Radishes somehow and they INTENDED on them to be arbitrarily destroyed and eaten by the Fraggles. AND THEN THEY'D DO THE SHIT AGAIN!
Jim Henson, though... He was no dummy... One episode, one Fraggle gets a conscience about them fucking up the Doozers' work as they had always done... Well, when this happened, the Doozers kept fuckin working as they did, eventually running out of space to build any more because their work was not being eaten. In an especially weird exchange, the Doozers decided that they would move to another area where their work will be eaten again... I cried into my beer, Bruiser looked at me as if something was wrong with me and if my supervisor was reading this, I would be piss tested immediately upon my return to work.
The Fraggle who initially got all soft about eating the Doozers' work heard one of the Doozers explaining to her child the problem and why they were moving, had a moment of Zen, and told the rest of the Fraggles, they all pigged the fuck out and the Doozers stayed. I was happy again, Bruiser was no longer looking at me funny and I am pretty sure I could STILL be piss tested for having typed that shit.
You know what? I am 30 damned years old and in the face of my hangups, I have and will keep RIGHT on watching this shit like I did when I was 5.
The Fraggles can share dreams if they're touching heads before they go to sleep.



The Fraggle Gobo has an uncle named Matt who travels into "outer space," which we find out frequently is the regular human people world, and it seems that the whole of Fraggle Rock is contained under some old man, Doc's, shop at one exit and from a well near the home of some human-like Gorgs at another. How Doc can live that close to some 22-ft tall humanoids is beyond me...
Hilarity ensues when Doc's dog tries with all he has to alert him to the Fraggles' existence which is met with Doc's obliviousness. Similarly hilarious is how Junior Gorg catches a Fraggle from time to time "LOOK MA, A FWAGGLE!!!" and she nearly shits her pants every time.
The Fraggles and Gorgs BOTH depend on the radishes, which the Gorgs grow and tend to for the Fraggles and Doozers take for reasons previously named. Also, despite apparently living in what SEEMS to be conveniently close to humans, the Gorgs have apparently not seen anyone other than one of their own in several years.
Make sense yet? No?
Good!
Because we have not even gotten INTO the singing and shit, yet and I am not going into that yet right now either.
The aforementioned "outer space" (the world outside of Fraggle Rock), inhabited with so-called "silly creatures" (humans) represents one exit to Fraggle Rock, while another comes in some seemingly far-off land where Gorgs live and their castle is infested with what is understood to be thousands of Fraggles, yet none of these 3 worlds is ever fully introduced to one another, despite what seems to be small degrees of separation?
Never mind that, we'll just suspend disbelief and move on to the next element here.
[Phlip note - or get high and move on to the next element... You know, if you're like IN to that kinda thing]
Let us not forget the Fraggles' guidance if you will, Marjory the Trash Heap located near to the Gorg's garden:



She was always introduced by Philo and Gunge, who did so with corny-ass dry humor

Every episode had an original song or 3, sometimes solo, sometimes a huge group of Fraggles would team up and sing on the song, performing with instruments and everything.
[Phlip note - y'all don't know how many times I have typed the word "smurf" in this damned post and had to fix it]
The thing with the music, though, is that is was generally pretty good most times and was all original. I am to understand that Koch released a 3-disc set containing this music and when I take a break from typing on this post, I will scour the Googles for it to make a part of my collection.
As of 10:48pm on 02/09/2010, I have not yet realized the downloadification of that set, but I will continue to look for it.

At the end of this all, I TRIED to present something to qualify as "disassembly" of this show for the posting of this blog, but I honestly just couldn't do it. Sure, sensory overload renders it with the beauty of an acid trip, but simplicity renders it enjoyable to a child. Silly shit makes an adult laugh. The fact that I typed most of this post from memory should say something, considering that I am a drunkard with a shitty memory.
In my life, I have encountered TWO childrens' shows possessing the brilliance of Fraggle Rock, and deductive reasoning leads any clear thinking individual to see that Fraggle Rock is one of them. The other is Pee Wee's Playhouse.
One must disconnect themselves from the physical to see what is intended and presented to make it come together, but it gets no better once you let it.

Album Review -- Sade: Soldier of Love

Part of me is ashamed for having even downloaded this album, with my very much on-the-outside crush for Helen Folasade Adu, professionally known as Sade. The other part of me sits and thinks of the fact that music has so terribly sucked over the last several years. Evidence in this can be found in the outputs of Beyonce and Rihanna compared to Sade.
So much being said, I HAD to download this album before I would allow myself to spend good money on it. Sorry Sade, blame it on the head and not the heart.

1: The Moon and the Sky
Okay, this album is off to a not-too-fast (in physical pace, not quality) start, and I like it already. The music here matches her voice, cadence and writing well. I am not even one to nitpick on things like the fact that I STILL liked Sweetback better as her backing band, but the guitar work in this song makes it worth the price of admission, which is still $0.00 to this point.
Good start to things here.

2: Soldier Of Love
Okay, I get a short horn [pause...] and some VERY nice drums, and a VERY large guitar on this song. This beat is a bit busy for Sade's approach to it, but she is using it quite well. I mean, anyone reading this SHOULD have heard this song already, and opinions of it should be formed on it. It is a single, it comes across as one. Yet and still, I STILL like the song.
[Quoth The Katie - her voice is DEEP!]
These drums closing out this song are what my wet dreams are made of, the snares are crisp and HUGE, kick drums are downplayed, but felt and the toms do what they must while the pan-mixed hi-hat bounces around it.. 11 thumbs up (I'm an alien, don't judge me!).

3: Morning Bird
Lower energy than the song before it, beginning with strings and a piano. I am PRAYING for a ballad, praying with all I got...
Well, I didn't get the ballad I wanted, but the tambourines are making me happy. Sade paces herself against a musical accompaniment that builds new elements at the end of each few bars without her (or more importantly, me) becoming distracted by the beat or the clackityclackityclack of this keyboard I am beating up on right now. Again, this song is a lot of music and comparatively less wording, but with a package that creates a song.
I have not yet on this album experienced the goosebumps that prior Sade albums still give me 25 years after release.
Still, 3 songs in and I have yet to hear a song I will not listen to again.

4: Babyfather
The title of this song has me terribly worried, as do the intro bars as I type this... Gimme a minute to listen to this before continuing.
Okay, she is not doing this production terrible, or this production is not taking me from her on it. Something about it, for some odd reason is putting me in the mind of Marley's Redemption Song, and I cannot quite put my finger on it.
Know, however, that Redemption Song is on my top 10 Marley songs list, so I am not complaining.
Okay, on the second verse, I get the Sade voice I am used to and I am naturally loving it. Apparently, someone thought what I was thinking about the Marley connection, as Ila Adu on this song sounds VERY MUCH like 2 of Robert Nesta's sons and I am STILL not mad at this in the least.

5: Long Hard Road [heheheh, that's what SHE said, giggitygiggitygoo]
All jokes (or at least some of them), I like the way this song intros, with 2 guitar bars, and IMMEDIATELY to business is Mrs. Adu.
Yes, the sexy voice we're used to is in full effect in a beat with nothing more than a kick, a snare and brush with that guitar.
Well shit, there came some string synths, but I ain't bitchin'.
I have still not had a goosebump moment on this album, but damned if EVERY song has not been serviceable in the making of great music and what is SURE to be some babies in the future for some people.
Wow, pause between chorus and verse, I love the effect it gives,
Short song, but I like it.

6: Be That Easy
This one strikes me as country music-like at the beginning, with the loping guitars and organic sounding drums. When she finally sings, it becomes Roots Reggae somewhat, which is not too far from American country music when one stops to think about it.
I am still not mad at this, but I WILL dub this my least favorite song on the album. Lyrics and point are still made, but the vessel just isn't all the way doing it for me.

7: Bring Me Home
I am on this beat already, and I am 10 seconds in!
Sade is doing it right, as one might expect us to. The voice, the music, there is this symbiotic relationship, this is so perfect.
SHIT!!!
This sounds like a 1995 RZA beat, only it is not purposely dirtied to sound older. The drums are right, the melody revolves around itself like Funkadelic's Maggot Brain or anything I have ever made and I LOVE it.
The singing on this comes off as dark, perfectly fitting the descriptions given. Mixing Sade's voice to use the lead vocals as backups in SOME spots on the vocals is a WONDERFUL touch.
Okay, the strings and flute before the last verse? Ho-lee SHEEIT!!!
Okay, I have a favorite song on this album now.

*pause to make water and get another Yuengling*

8: In Another Time
Hmm... This song starts off as something Sam Cooke or Bill Withers might sing on if either of them were still alive...
Wait, Bill Withers is still alive?
Cool!
Get him on this song, then.
I wish I could accurately describe how this is going over so far in words, but it just wouldn't work. This song took a long time to get good, though it was never horrible, to say the least.
Building of the music and of elements of the song itself toward the end of verses makes it worth the price of admission, as do the introduction of the saxophone. This song should be scratchy as hell and sung in an old jazz bar filled with smoke and smelling like whiskey.
And I LOVE that kinda music, word to my late granddaddy whose birthday is in 2 weeks.

9: Skin
Hmm... The music on this is more "modern" than I usually get from her, but I do not dislike it, as it reminds me of Rough Ends, only with a slower pace.
Sade sits on a beat better than anyone of her ilk. Her voice soothes and comforts, even when Katie is laughing uncontrollably at things derived from internet memes from years past.
[Phlip note - imagine that there was a pause button and better than half that beer consumed right there just now]
This is a good song, though it seems to be a bit of a setup for the end of the album to take place on the next song. More of a calm before the storm than a denouement.
Again, solace comes in the fact that we get the consistency of Sade and her voice here. No complaints from Team Phlip.

10: The Safest Place
Sade closes an album not with the highest-energy song, never has. She DOES, however, end the album right.
She sings as soon as the music starts, and does not stop the entire time. Her words make sense in the context of both the song title and points to be made. The music builds, reduces and re-builds behind her and does so, as usual, without distracting from her or her from it.
With that, this short song on a short album is drawn to a close...


Here's a fact:
Sade has not been in the news talking shit about another singer, in direct or thinly veiled wording.

Fact:
I only know what Sade's titties and ass look like because there is no secret that she modeled them in real life years ago, not getting out of some coon's rented Bentley at a club opening.

Fact:
Sade has ALWAYS put it on the floor with her talent when it comes to making and releasing her music, and this album is no different, not even a little bit.


All those things considered, I am absolutely planning to swing by FYE and part with $9.99 plus applicable sales taxes for this album. Again, it has a lot to do with the LACK of a circus surrounding the release of the album, so much as just going in and making the damned music.
No, this is not my favorite Sade Album, but NO singer will EVER make Diamond Life ever again.

That being said, this album gets a thumbs-up review and will eventually get my cash.
Now, I will wash my ass and go to bed.

What is lust?

It's been said that an individual acting on the whim of lust will take action based solely on what they see or react to physically... To internalize, think deeply and react with the same passion as before means one is acting on the strength of love.
As some of you know, I own a LOT of wristwatches. Due to the fact that I lack proper storage for any of them, I had before me this evening (01/25/2010, some days ahead of me actually PUBLISHING this post) a HUGE stack of them right here in front of me on my desk, I was forced to internalize my collection, including my thinking on why I own so many of these things.
[Phlip note - that and I need to get batteries for most of these motherfuckers]

What I was also forced to look at was the fact that EVERY one of my watches has a story that comes with it.
I know that it is the right of both of you to not give a mad assfuck, but my blog is my blog, so damned if I won't post what the hell I will...

First Fossil... I saw someone wearing one and I liked the color of the face, band design and all that. I was in high school and therefore scared off of the 1996 $65.00 pricing. 1997, I was not on minimum wage and I made it happen. My dipshit brother shattered the face and has been admonished for wearing my watches to work since.
Yes, I still have it, and wear it when it has a working battery, which it does not right now.


1998, Dillards in High Point, visiting my (now) ex at work elsewhere in the mall, had a couple bucks on my person, liked it and copped... This one reminds me of what an epic phail my time with her wound up being.


2000, bought the two at the same time in Dillards like 3 months after starting my first non-shit job.


Fall 2003, the covers of Talib Kweli and Bubba Sparxxx albums saw them wearing watches with wide bands and large, but not AS wide faces... I wanted one.
I got one.
Then...


... Sterlin saw the brown watch above, and liked it, wanted one of his own. When I bought his for christmas, I bought mine for me. Mine still looks like that, his is kinda borked, but what can I say?


Apparently, Fossil was commissioned to make Adidas watches as well, because I happened upon this normally-$230 gem on a clearance table in/near St. Augustine Florida on my way home from Miami December 2007 for only $19.99


March 2006, went to Jacksonville to get something with my brother and on the way home, decided to I-95 it to Smithfield it on the way home, came home with this one.


See above, no other stories for this one other than the repeated attempts of people I know to take it from me. This was a 'watch bar' watch, where I selected the individual band and face and assembled myself.

In this space, I would have a watch that I loaned to my brother for him to wear during his wedding April 2008... Working for a landscaper at the time, I TOLD him not to wear my shit to work, but listen he did not By the time I saw my watch again, one of the pins was broken. I advised that I would not accept my watch back until that pin was fixed.
As of last week, after 20 months, that pin was replaced, as well as the battery that died in the meantime, just in time for the pin on the other side to break... The lack of an image here at this point is evidence that the SECOND pin has not been replaced. I will edit the image into this post whenever the fuck I get my damned watch back. Fact remains that I got the watch because I was in the Fossil store and copped alongside the prior 2 watches in this post, paying less than 105 after tax for all 3.


Another 'watch bar' watch, I bought this one when I was putting Katie's together Christmas 2008.


Got this one at a Fossil Outlet on the way home from Atlanta 2009... Apparently Fossil was commissioned to make Callaway watches.
The flaw? There's no 'Y' on this one.
Cost? $19.99... I don't even miss that Y.


Story goes that a friend of mine once worked for a company that might have presented him with opportunity for some nice electronics... Rumor also has it that the company in question might have had a major hand in the development of a technology that most of us use every day.
That technology is Bluetooth, for the record...
Combine that technology with a contract with my favorite watchmaking company, Fossil, and a very large and heavy watch packed to the gills with features I find cool enough to desire... He leaves company, but has a couple on his hands and after months of badgering, relinquishes possession...


I won an auction for a watch IDENTICAL to the one on the right at the end of December, and it arrived broken, presumably due to poor packaging, so I had to send it back for what was SUPPOSED to be a warranty exchange. These motherfuckers gave me my money back without TRYING to entertain sending me another or perhaps charging me for repairs.
Anyway, I happened upon another one on ebay, same model except where it is blue was black and bid on it. Auction closing time came and I got sniped at the end, I was downloading some enormous files and my computer didn't refresh fast enough and I lost the auction.
[Phlip note - that computer is chillin' in the hallway closet for now to become Network-Attached Storage sooner than later, and that is not to be an issue with the new one]
I happened upon ANOTHER from the same seller that I liked at the time, that would be the black one on the left there... Since I had lost out on one before and might have been away, I set the max bid a bit higher, THEN I happened upon the silver one pictured above, putting in a bid for it as well. Both from the same seller, both with free shipping, both ending within 50 minutes of one another.
Come down to the wire, I won the black one for a considerable amount less than my max, so I upped the max bid on the silver one and lo and behold, I won it too for only like 3 bucks more than my original max bid. Being smart, I waited to paypal for anything to make sure I got them both, to streamline the process... Smart move, that, as ebay allowed the one payment to the one seller and he naturally saved himself the money by shipping them together -- lightning fast too!
They came in on Wednesday and, while both will be the first watches I will have EVER had to take a link (2-3 each, actually) out of (mainly due to their considerable weight/size), these are now my favorite watches of the moment. I also love that I won't have that whole battery replacement problem anymore, all I gotta do is put it on and move a couple times and she comes alive, if it hasn't maintained the last previous winding.


Did you know a bath towel could be re-purposed to store a dozen or so large wristwatches in a pinch?

How funny is that that my most recent acquisitions for the collection come with the longest story? I guess it has a lot to do with the fact that they're freshest on my mind, and I was actually excited about getting them throughout the whole process, which included 2 failed attempts.
The fact that I can have so many wristwatches, and still have a reason named for having each one should speak to whether my collecting them is an act of love or lust. It is noteworthy that while only 5 have working batteries at current (not counting the two that do not require batteries), added to the fact that I do not have proper casing/storage for them that I do take care of my shit. Evidence to this is in the fact that I still have the ones from 10+ years ago in working and non-damaged condition. Through it all, I've only had to replace one watch crystal that I was not the one who broke and 2 pins again, not on my shift. Let us just say that my brother will NEVER borrow those last two.
One other watch in this post is one that my grandmother gave me Christmas of 2006. Very nice watch, I left it in the case, then she passed away March 1, 2007, and I cannot bring myself to wear it at all now, I would prefer it remain virgin. It is not pictured because it is in the storage unit chillin in my driveway right now until i get the rest of my shit off of it and send it on to wherever my mama will be living next.

Yes, I am subject to addict behaviors, and one MIGHT think of this as evidence of such, but the fact of the matter, though, is that I really do love a nice watch. It is among the first things I notice when I meet anyone, so long as they're wearing one. Not to mention the warm and fuzzies born from someone saying "wow, nice watch," kind of as a self-confirming kinda thing.

Italian automotive pr0ns -- Pagani Zonda

The word on the curb when it comes to SuperDuperCars is "exclusivity."
When you look at almost 11 years of production and only about 115 cars produced, you HAVE exclusivity. The cost of admission was $320k in 1999, and has peaked at $2.2million last year.
In one bout of what one might consider blasphemy, the Italian supercar is powered by a German engine, always a 6+ liter Mercedes AMG engine making retarded numbers powering the rear wheels from the middle of the car.
The only model in the Pagani lineup, the Zonda will end this year with a run of race cars, and will be of course replaced with a more exclusive and more expensive model in the not-too-distant future, one might guess.
This blog, though, is about the Pagani Zonda, and all years, models and renderings are allowed.

Link to the gallery created can be found right here.

In the kitchen with Phlip -- hot wings & potato wedges

The plan for the evening was salmon patties and mashed potatoes, but while in Wal Mart, Katie suggested the desire for hot wings...
Sheeit, I am ALWAYS up to eat hot wings, so I was all damned for it without argument, so this meal that was not going to be a blog quickly became one.

Apple Cider vinegar.


Balsamic Vinegar...


Worstershorstershire sauce, word to Yosemite Sam.


Cayenne pepper... The amount to be used directly proportional to your level of bravery, and I am ignorantly brave when it comes to this.


Chicken wings...


Kitchen shears, INVENTED for chicken wings.


Retarded extra section removed, perfectly sectioned.


1 cup of Apple Cider Vinegar, 2-3 dashes of balsamic, 2-3 dashes of worsteshorstershire sauce, then add cayenne/other seasons to taste, perhaps a little garlic as well.


Mrs. Chicken Wings, please get acquainted with Mr. Grease.


They'll come out of the grease looking like this, give them a minute to drain, then put them in a bowl, then...


Shake the wings up in the sauce in the bowl, shake it a few times for full coverage.


Secret: apple corer that has NEVER seen an apple, and likely never will. The secret to Phlip's Phamous wedges.


3 of these, but I had cut one before photographing.


Push straight down on it and you'll get the prettiest wedges (and one cylindrical one) you've ever seen.


They'll come out of the corer looking like this.


SALT/SEASON THEM IMMEDIATELY!!!

I have not yet eaten A SINGLE wing, since I am typing right now, but Katie seems to be enjoying them very much over there, so I surely will as well.
Beer of choice this evening is Killian's Irish Red.
Enjoy!

Silverhawks, my take on this

I was born in 1979... That means I was alive through the golden age of cartoons/animated programming and was around to watch the migration from Saturday morning to Primetime. This brings me to first and second grades, in 1985 and '86.
Rankin/Bass had caught lightning in a bottle with Thundercats, an aesthetic masterpiece but a writing and common sense abortion, to be totally honest speaking as a 30 year-old looking back 25 years now. Anyway about it, the inexplicable 130-episode success of Thundercats granted them a green light to jump the shark with produce another series, Silverhawks.

Without getting into specifics as it relates to characters on the show, just know that EACH spot on the Thundercats' team is mirrored on the Silverhawks' team, except for Snarf, who will not be missed one little fucking bit.
Funny thing, here... Perusing my discussions of music and my attention to detail on most other posts, one would think -- based upon my draw to things nostalgic to me -- that I could remember SOMETHING about the plots/goings on in this show, but damn if I could remember a FUCKING thing for this post without first consulting Google. It was even then that I even noticed that the series is actually available on DVD.
Part of me wants to spend some time with my big new shiny, cancer-curing computer this week and see if I can't find a couple episodes for download to expand my memory for this post, but another part of me remembers wanting my fucking money back for the Thundercats DVD I bought on the FIRST day they released for entirely too much damned money a couple years ago... I own none of the subsequent sets, for the record.
All that being said, the fact that I remember damn near literally NOTHING about the show, added to the fact that many cartoon ADDICTS I know look at me as if there is a vagina growing from my forehead when I mention Silverhawks leads me to stop and think 'well damn, maybe it just wasn't that good after all.'

I guess this post is less about Silverhawks in general than it is about how Rankin/Bass got over with a not-very-good-anyway show for 130 episodes in Thundercats, but still somehow worked that to the tune of 65 episodes more of another show that was apparently equally not-very-good, with the only difference between them being that their second attempt was completely and totally forgettable.

Voltron, my take on this...

After speaking with the homie Galen on his Cartoon Disassembly series recently guested here on my blog, I mentioned that he had not done one on Voltron, and he explained to me that he had become busy doing other life stuff and never got back to finishing it.
I pushed to see if there would be a chance of talking him back out of retirement and onto it. He offered the chance of the possibility, but promised nothing. What he did, however, grant me was his blessing to make an undoing of the cartoons of my choosing, provided that I leave Looney Tunes and Tom & Jerry alone.
Reluctantly, I agreed to leave those to him, as a gracious visitor into his lane.

Without further setup, though I am going in on one of my favorite animated series from my childhood; Voltron... Let the record here show that I am ONLY discussing the Lion series, as everyone to come after it was so egregiously bad that I had to jettison them from my system as if they were a rape of some sort.
One thing that someone will remember from Voltron is the voice of Peter Cullen -- also voice of Optimus Prime then and now -- and the presence of bigass motherfucking robot lions.
One other thing that one remembers, or is reminded of, about this show is consistency. The problem is that this consistency is so extreme and results in repetition that it becomes a bit frustrating.

The Katie and I are now 20+ episodes into the DVD set, I am realizing is the EXACT same thing every episode, someone comes in and plays off on the princess' naivety and/or tries to get her to fall in love with them as a means to either gaining control of one of the lions, incapacitating a member of the force to keep them from forming Voltron or just outright keeping her captive. One would think that sooner or later her suspicions would be higher or they would just give up on the implausible and downright dumb plots, yet it is the same EVERY episode.

One of the members (who is apparently trying to fuck her, save for Pidge who is transgender) gets jealous because someone else might fuck her instead of them and she ignores/defies them and damn near gets EVERYONE killed. Then the initial plot fails and one of the slaves from Doom volunteers to be made into the best robeast ever invented (to that point, at least), only to go to Arus (or however you spell that) and get smoked by Voltron.

EVERY
FUCKING
EPISODE

I mention how comically asinine these 'plots' generally were because no two were ever terribly different. First Zarkon dispatches Yurak to destroy the planet Arus, the reason for which was NEVER explained, and with it Voltron. Yurak NEVER looked directly at Zarkon, ever. Fed up with Yurak's shit, Zarkon started to go to the dumbass planning of the Witch Haggar, only one of which was actually workable, but she blew even that with a bit of hamfisted ignorance. Next comes Zarkon's son, named after a drug for erectile dysfunction, Lotor, who secretly wants to marry the princess and overthrow his father, but forgets minor details like proper planning and competence in completing these tasks.
Again, every single episode features some lame-brained plan hatched by one of them, but always ending with one of Haggar and Lotor's "robeasts" engaging in an impossibly overmatched battle with Voltron, and losing spectacularly. Literally every time.

Oh, speaking of those battles...
It seems that every time, when the lions singularly are having their collective asses handed to them, they take a break and form Voltron to gain the upper hand. During this exchange, they repeat:

Ready to form Voltron! Activate interlocks! Dyna-therms connected. Infra-cells up; mega-thrusters are go!
Form feet and legs; form arms and body; and I'll form the head!
Let's go, Voltron Force!

During the time that this takes place, a good minute time expires. Being raised by the television, we know that one minute TV time equates to every bit of 5 minutes of real-life time. So, in the grand scheme of things, 5 individual entities have now taken to float into the air to form an insurmountable foe that you KNOW you cannot beat, and all you have to do is stop them from forming, presumably by stopping ONE of them from joining in the little dance, and all you do is stand and watch, waiting on your turn to get splayed with that flaming sword like the dude yesterday?
And what for?
Riiiiight, I can't fathom why either.
Why IS Zarkon so obsessed with Arus? He has already enslaved most of the population and seems to be more out to simply destroy it that benefit from any resource it has.
Why ARE the princes, her advisor and nanny so quick to trust every random person who descends from space onto their planet after it has been destroyed? I mean, it's not like every person to come down hasn't tried to trick them into outing Voltron so they can destroy it... Oh, wait.
At what point does it dawn on either side that they're doing the exact same song and dance EVERY episode?

And most importantly...
Why do I STILL not regret having dropped the coin on the DVD sets?