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Thursday, May 20, 2010

"Tax Deductions..."

What one side calls a "tax deduction," the other sees as a "revenue stream," it seems...

Between the circuses that is the whole Nas/Kelis dilemma, where he is being raked over the coals for more in a month than I make in a year for child and spousal support. And for what?!!? Does she not have a career of her own? Are there not some established norms for what it costs to raise a child for 2 people, then a FAIR comparison to what BOTH parents make a year for FAIR adjustment, "custodial parent" be damned...

Another example is the semi-recent exploits of a certain Siohvaughn Wade, where it seems that she is now seeing that she will not just be GIFTED an exorbitant chunk of that windfall that D-Wade is about to take in about 7 weeks and is now acting out. First she tries to play to the sympathies of the female judge by suing his alleged "mistress." Now she can just lay back out of court and there is no way a judge would even need her there, not with her husband basically having sex in front of their sons with a woman who is not mommy, even if this is an unverified claim. Now all she has to do is sit back as the judge gives her Juanita Jordan money or better.
Oops...
I LIKE this judge, because she told her to get her ass into court and when she didn't, sheriffs were sent for that ass.

I predict that EVERY player in the league(s) will be calling D-Wade to get his attorney, James Pritikin's numbers.
Looking at the show Basketball Jumpoffs Wives on vh1 -- which admittedly, I shouldn't -- I am beginning to see a deeper problem. You these NBA cats who, like most men, will gladly insert penis to marginally attractive woman/women, which some of these women are. You have a group of women who are more than willing to live high off the hog that are their "fiance/husband/sponsors'" professional sports contracts, and will gladly do so, quite lavishly until that money begins to dry up, usually sometime soon following their careers. At this point they're left with the option of upgrading to a newer model, or living off of the child/spousal support that Judges often grant them before realizing that they ain't shit.

One jumpoff even goes as far as to say that she has gone outside of the established rules to extort date players. We have heard tell of how that is playing out for her, what with getting sued by superjesus down in Orlando for slander and such.
It seems to me that these chicks -- save for Matt Barnes' fiance -- as presented on this show are only having their kids as a fashion accessory/nest egg because they have little else to offer to the world otherwise. Most of them can't even bother to be seen raising their own damned kids, one argument ensues over the employment of nannies. Why in the FUCK does a housewife/stay-at-home-mom need a nanny for an as-observed otherwise healthy child?
You have Eric Williams and his wife who quite obviously hate each others guts, he seems to only stay married on the "cheaper to keep her" side of things and she could honestly give less of a fuck, so long as she could continue to spend his money.
Most others on the show are similar situations, except without the whole "marriage" inconvenience.


Back to the Wade family, which might be a bit of applicable description to the rest of these situations on the.
I was speaking to my best friend on the topic, being that he is a fan of Dwyane Wade, and he come up with, and I quote...

"She seems to be in the mold of a long line of women who think that a husband brings out the crazy in them by doing them wrong and moving on: when the fact of the matter is dragging down your husband with your insecurity in yourself about (wait for it) not bringing JACK SHIT to the table but a pussy, so the devalue themselves by worrying about another bitch that also has a pussy, b/c that is all u bring, thus that is all u think he wants. That shyt, and the nutso actions that accompany it, are what, in my opinion, actually push these cats away from the shallow broads they try to "upgrade". The cats either say fuck it and go hoe-dozing (shaq), find a chick who has her own life and is on the level enough to let actual affection do the work (wade), or find a actual down as chick that wants the "family" to win and supports the cat by playing her position drama free (sheed',artest,KG,etc.)"

You know, I had been looking for a way to put some words to that, and damned if that wasn't it.
You have players in the league who, regardless of what we may think of them for their on-court shit, are NEVER embroiled in any shit off of it. Seriously, just look at the last 3 named, and think of what you've heard of them in their marriages off of the court. And yes, all 3 are married with children (no Al Bundy, word to Tony Grands), and I could not tell you what ANY of their wives look like without an exhaustive Google search.

Back to the basketball jumpoffs wives... Look at how they treated people "outside" of their little circle.
-One girl who is not "one of them" but is playing her position as a family girl quite commendably, and getting to live in an enormous house with beautiful children for her efforts seems to be hated on because she serves as a basic reminder that she is NOT like those other chicks.
-The ever-present "groupie," who is approached by the jumpoffs wives in a party and basically fought with for being NO different from them, save for they had each snared their own ballplayer.

They are the situations as described above by Roger... These chicks bring nothing to their households but a (hopefully) fertile vagina, and are apparently beginning to see the world for the fact that such a thing is no longer such a hot commodity. After wasting one's life away apparently aspiring not to be a supportive wife, but a high maintenance girlfriend with whom a split could prove costly becomes less an option, what with the way dudes are lawyering up and showing the unstable to be unstable as they are.
Heck, even the show's producer can't be seen discussing her own "basketball wife-dom" as she has a pending divorce case that she is trying not to damn as well. Pulling the kids out of school in Florida and taking them to California, a "womens' state" when it comes to these things showed me all I needed to know about what she was on. Almost invariably, and not helping their cause to claim the contrary, these women are older than the athletes they chase, up to and including their once-cougar den mother Juanita Jordan.

The problem has been created by a generally woman-friendly court system, in my opinion. How many of you, like me, have friends being gouged for child support to chicks who are ill-fit to even have CUSTODY of their children, who then blow the money on their own hair and nails while hitting them up for even more shit "for the kid," when they sometimes don't even SEE the kid often as they should compared to the cash outlay?
I will be 5000% honest when I say that I know this to be the case FAR too often as I see with people I know personally, and even moreso that I hear about through degrees of separation, and most catastrophically in the victimization of public figures.
Inflation on the price for fame, indeed. Fucked up is fucked up though, and Nas got horsefucked and Shaquille O'Neal is next.

The men are not without blame, though...
Well, not all the way. Dwyane Wade met his wife when they were in high school. We'll chalk that one up to the beast created when big money is on the line.
The others, though?
Money, like any other intoxicant, does not change people, rather makes them more of what they already are. That being said, it'd be a better idea to know who you are inserting yourself into before you find yourself having to fund their digression as a human fucking being live on Vh1, all while not raising your kid and generally defiling your name, which will appear at least one time every time the girl linked to you is on screen after each commercial break.
If I had a dollar for every one of my friends in my life where I've had to say "dude, do NOT fuck that bitch," or told a chick "if you know what I know..." then I would have, um... well... Probably a couple of nice pairs of sneakers for all those dollars.
If I had 5 dollars for every child that came of those exchanges, I would have a couple more nice pairs of sneakers.
Conversely--...
No wait, think about this for a second.
If you give an investor sound investment advice and he saves himself a large sum of money, he would only be justified to pay you a commission of some sort, right? Now, apply that to ALL of my friends, male or female, that ignored the "don't fuck with them" advice and a child came of the situation, then reverse that and they DID listen and the child never happened. Now, give me a fair commission on money saved on child support.
[Phlip note - this applies to dudes paying child support on kids that ain't theirs too... 3 kids, 5 babbydaddies, anyone? I know 2 girls doing this RIGHT now and hope their nasty asses see this shit on facebook]

If anyone reading this heeded my warning and saved a ton of money by switching to Geico, the Paypal button is on the right.

It has been said and discussed that either Jumpoffs or Divorce Lawyers are having the best year ever, and I am not sure which camp I subscribe to on that topic, but I do know that something is terribly WRONG.
This, if you've unfortunately witnessed it, is somewhere between art imitating life and vice-versa. I guess when the stakes become that high, though, you begin to see true colors. I am most concerned for the kids, perhaps because I never made the league.
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