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Monday, August 9, 2010

It ain't where you from...

I have come to this odd conclusion that far too often people who move to places other than where they were born and/or raised – “raised” taken to mean the spending of some formative years – express a hard time being where they’ve chosen to ultimately wind up in their lives. As ever with the things I observe, this is not an absolute to be taken as ‘every motherfucker to move away from home’ so much as it is ‘damn near every motherfucker to move away from home and be compelled to talk about it out loud,’ there is a difference… There really is no problem with being proud of or happy for where you originated, but if your conversation is bordering disrespect for where you are situated, or where you’ve been – hell, sometimes even places you will never even fuckin' go – then you have some issues to be conquered before being allowed to play with the adult folks, sorry to break it to you.

Not to promote stereotypes or preconceived notions – no fuck it, that is exactly what I will do – but it seems as if the ones most often caught doing this shit are either from somewhere around the tri-state or from California. Those of the New York/NJ variety usually come down here for school and never manage to leave even if no one particularly wants them here. The problem, though, is that they stay here and complain about EVERYTHING in comparison to home, or “back up top” as they so often call it, without doing the world the favor of packing their shit and going back to their terrible traffic, rude people, prohibitively high cost of living and no jobs. Nothing is ever good enough. Whether it be food, fashion, the way people talk, how there is “never anything to do,” or the general calling of things they feel are beneath them “country” or “bamma.”
The problem, though, is that never does this line of conversation include getting the fuck out and going back to Africa up north. These things NEVER pay service to the fact that more often than not the choice 1) to come here and 2) to remain here are PRECISELY that – choices. If you are so put out in your current situation that you must complain about it incessantly, you should PROBABLY begin the motions that you feel will make it better, up to and including shutting the fuck up about it.
My experience with western time zoners, though, has been completely different… Most with an opinion have never been and will never be in NC or anywhere further east than Vegas. The assumption is always made as “BFE” or as if everything down here is farmland. There is yet no such thing as technology, we have not yet discovered electricity, wireless communications, the internet, modern automobiles, Asia/Europe and are all bible-thumping zealots bent on telling the rest of the country just how hellbound they are. Unfathomable is it that there are ANY states other than California that there can be camping (or whatever people do in the woods), surfing (or whatever people do on beaches) and skiing (or whatever people do on the mountains) within the same state.
[Phlip note – black people don’t ski, surf or camp, for the record]


Maybe it is related to my comfort with where I was raised. I am close to people I know I love, living only a few blocks from my aunts, and one mile from my mother and grandmother who live right by my sister. And you know what? For a mid-sized city third largest in my state, I am close enough to the middle of the city where I can be to damn near anything within 20-30 minutes, even seeing downtown from my front yard when the trees are clear enough in the winter.

(stock photo, no way I'm getting one from the yard in the middle of summer)

Maybe I was raised to treat peoples’ homes as I would have them to treat mine. I mean that to say that if you have me in my house, I will NOT cop a squat and shit on your carpet because I don’t like the color of it.
This goes not to even mention the ones who have family in places other than where they have lived their whole lives, but adopt the mentality of their out-of-town relatives all while spending very little time away from their situation.
That being said, I will SIMILARLY refrain from applying what I think I know – but would never be bothered to investigate or actually learn – from driving my opinion of such things. Such situations cause one to come off with this unearned air of pretense, which is really less than a desirable character trait. Funny is how this used to be one that I ONLY noticed when I was in school or generally out in retail hell the world when people came down here for a reason, generally on a temporary basis, like homecoming or some shit like that. Applying John Gabriel’s Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory, though, presents a new idea altogether though. Apply an air of anonymity or a complete barrier of distance to the situation and someone who is likely a douchebag in person is now a completely deplorable human being, generally unworthy of continued oxygen supply, just because it's the internet.

All things seem to lead back to one place… I guess it is almost human nature to take umbrage with SOMETHING, this post in itself is indicative of that. I speak as a dude who has seen quite a bit of not only other states in the country in which I reside, but a good deal of those where others live as well.
[Phlip note – I still need to make it to Europe and Asia… Coming soon post-wedding, hopefully]
The point made is that I did not go anywhere in the Caribbean or Mexico or anywhere else I go bitching about what was so wrong with what their particular set of circumstances has allowed them. Instead, I took in and appreciated the hospitality presented in being allowed in, to take in what they DO have, and to let any dissent I may have had to remain unstated out of common respect. That and there is always the road less taken; the art of shutting the hell up.

Seriously, people… Never is it more apparent that “it ain’t where you from but where you are,” especially when you’ve made semi-permanent residence of your situation.
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