I took notice, though, some mention of the short-sighted of the world questioning the wisdom of her decision to give it to me. The question was of the gift in general, not of the time frame of the giving of it. I would go on to hear stories that were always of one of two extremes…
- Male: man, it got to the point where I only play after she goes to bed or I am home alone, she complains about me playing any time I LOOK at it.
- Female: I don’t know WHY she gave you that thing, you gonna ignore her now and she’ll wind up hating it!
Infrequent were comments that would look at the middle ground of these things, where maybe, just perhaps, we might find ourselves actually playing video games together, or at least during shared times right there with one another.
F’rinstance… I work 8-5 Monday thru Friday on one job and 6-9:15 as needed on the other… Katie works 7-5:30 with 3 days off a week, but has class 3 nights a week until like 930. Often, our time spent actually sitting and talking is done over dinner, then video games or a football/basketball game is on (and yes, we can watch those together too). Being that Bruiser has a thing for making whomever has situated themselves on my couch into his own personal fetch partner (so don't be surprised if you ever come to my house and he comes up and puts a stuffed animal in your lap, then looks at you until you throw it), the fact that we’re BOTH on the couch during these times, they more often than not become a family moment with a relentlessly happy dog wagging his tail away the whole time…
All while the PS3 is still going, regardless of which of us is playing.
There you have it. I have time to spend doing something I enjoy. I have time to do it whether my other half is home with me or WILL BE home with me. I can take solace in knowing that she knows that I am home and safe, even if she cannot be right there with me. However, when she does arrive, she is a willing participant and not left to lay in wait for her turn with me.
On the other hand, people have copped to having envy issues when it comes to these things in that their own "she" may feel that he is paying more attention to “that damned game” than he is to her, whether or not this is ACTUALLY the case. We all know that perception is a large percentage of each individual’s version of the truth.
Out of curiosity, I presented my thoughts to The Book of Face, asking…
“Why do some women (not mine, for the record) get so bent out of shape when their Significant other plays video games? This one isn’t a ‘question of the day’”
As ever, one of my respondents was former coworker, Tiffany, with…
"It's ok if they handling their business, but some dudes let the video games come before paying bills (they buy new games/systems and haven't even paid the rent or bought a crumb of food for the house), spending time with the kids or his woman, sex, basic hygene, eating, sleeping....pretty much everything. I've even known some to miss work over a tournament or standing in line to buy the newest system. smdh."
Then friend of a friend, A.M. Hatter, with…
"While I generally view it as a waste of time, I wouldn't get bent out of shape if he didn't play all the time. My cousin's now ex-husband, for instance, actually moved her out of the way when she straddled him to keep playing the game. That moment was when she decided to divorce."
[Phlip note – DAMN!!!]
Next was another former coworker, Portia, with…
"I agree as long as it doesn't consume ur time & u can prioritize...I actually LOVE playing video games but since I prefer older men most of them don't play,so its really not been an issue for me..the other reason cld be cuz the female does feel left out."
[Phlip note – how old is “older”? I mean, I’m 31 and I play video games, as do cats I know within 5 or so years older than I am… Furthermore, what the hell does it matter? Most of these games ain’t for kids anymore anyway.]
Now don’t get me wrong, here… I like video games just fine, as in fine enough to give an hour or two of my spare time to them, but not so much that I am not working, paying bills and eating. As a fat dude, earning my food budget, and then applying it to what matters, and not recreation, takes precedence over Madden 2011.
Just the same, my interest in my woman has taken continued precedence over video games in general, otherwise I might have HAD a PS3 by now, and I would play more of the ones that I DO have since becoming involved with her. Example would be served by explaining that the most of any game I have played since meeting her would be my completing of Lego Batman late last year, then randomly throwing in old installments of the Need For Speed franchise, playing for a few minutes and then not touching the old PS2 for weeks at a time.
The Corollary to that would be the dude who wakes up playing COD or some such, goes to work (or not!), then comes home and immediately picks it back up. During all of this, his girlfriend/wife is posting passive-aggressive Tweets and FaceBook statuses about him as if no one he knows can see her page.
Or the one whose wife is a fucking nag, and every time he sets foot outside the house, he is thought to be inserting himself inside of a vagina that does not belong to her. When he comes back home, he has to argue about it, whether or not he actually wants to or has done anything. Instead of facing a daily heated discussion, he fires up the old Xbox and wails away on third-world minorities while she remains quiet.
“well shit, if I’m at home, at least she knows that I ain’t out fuckin nobody else,” he thinks to himself – and he would be correct in thinking so, given what he has been told about her issues with him and video games.
To address what he has been presented with, he would be right, except for now the issue will become that he was home all night – therefore not with some other broad – but he was not paying her enough attention. In other words, it was a good thing he did play Fight Night until the wee hours, because he wasn’t fuckin’ anything anyway.
Which leads me back to the very beginning of this post… I am damned glad that I managed to allow other people to have these problems so I wouldn’t have to. Katie plays the game just as much as I do – so much that even my brother commented on her mounting trophy collection, lol – so quite naturally we have an understanding that we now have something in the house that we both can enjoy. It is also worth noting that we have enough imagination as it relates to one another to spend a major amount of available time with one another OUTSIDE of the house as well…
But there again, that is more a testament to the inherent value of an involved couple actually LIKING one another, as opposed to just being together for convenience. I find it rather messed up, though, for people to assign me their own failures in relationships at the very MENTION of being into video games. It is that same approach of peoples' rushing to define everyone based upon their own shortcomings that has served as the cause for me to come up with a new and creative way of telling someone to eat a dick every few days on twitter.
That said, if I ever get straddled or otherwise suggested that it is “naptime” (use your adult imaginations for that one), then I have no qualms with powering down and doing the more important instead.