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Saturday, February 26, 2011

James Earl Jones alarm clock?

It is often assumed that I am punctual just out of habit, and find it odd that I call it heredity...
One habit I took from my granddaddy - alcoholism notwithstanding - is that being late or absent irks the fuck out of me.

Extenuating circumstances are extenuating circumstances, and they continue to exist as a caveat to never say never, but damned if I am habitually late or out, even if I am clear on the signs shown that my employer hates my guts...
When I CAN get here, I get here, and on time. I have been working since I was 16, and looking back over my history, I have missed more time to…

  • Deaths in the family (3 in the whole of 16 years)
  • Deaths of dogs (just couldn’t make myself want to go)
  • Weather (one missed day and a bit of late time for travel complexities)
  • Traffic (yes, sitting in the car on I-85 counts)
  • 9/11 (building closed 2 hours into my shift)
  • Car trouble (much less than you might think, considering I have never owned a car newer than 6 years old at time of purchase)
  • The fallout of that nasty fight between Godzilla and Mothra (16 days in the hospital, 9.5 more weeks in the house losing my mind)


… than I have to legitimate illness.

My thing has always been that if I am sick enough to miss work, then a hospital bracelet will be involved.
frankly, my immune system is just too much of a killer for that to be.

Then there is my James Earl Jones alarm clock…
“what’s that,” you ask?
See… After 7 solid years of second shift work, unless on special projects, I have been on first shift 8-5 for over 4 years now. This allowed me to revert back to my sleeping habits of my school days. My alarm is set for 6:45am, and it is a rare occurrence that I make it even that long, even on off days when the alarm is off.

  • Vacations?
    Sheeeeeeeeed, get up and go have some fun
  • Off days?
    I will SURELY have something to do or clean
  • “Mental Health Days©”?
    Yes, I will STILL get up and pursue what preserves my mental health


Well how do I do it?
Back to James Earl Jones…
Now, I am not too sure if this is a gift or a curse – my body punishing me for all the drinking – but at 7am, drunk sick or sober and no matter what time I went to sleep, my body clock speaks to me, and it is James Earl Jones’ voice (speaking in an Olde English accent)…

"thou hast oversleepeth, arise from thine extended slumber and panic, for thou art now late for work!"


Now, the understanding that this happens whether or not I have ANYTHING productive planned should explain my frustration with my general inability to stay asleep, even if I DO manage to roll over and go back to sleep.
Or reconvene to the couch, and go back to sleep.

So I guess my natural inability (or lack of inclination, as it were) to be tardy is kind of a gift and a curse, but I will take it for what it is.
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