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Monday, December 5, 2011

Parodies of news happenings

With pop culture being what it is, parody of a pop culture piece is usually a safe vehicle for the continuation of your “brand.” With recent developments surrounding the 2012 Republican candidates-to-be, most specifically one Herman Cain, I am of the opinion that RIGHT NOW is the time for one of those infamous “… an XXX parody”.

As ever, and in the same vein as “Whose Nailin’ Palin” from a couple of years back, the title should be cheesy and especially groan-worthy, and this one is no different.

“Spermin’ Cane”

The allegations as presented publicly thus far give us 3 scenes, which I will go into now.

Scene 1
The “harassment” allegations stem from what was said to have taken place at office parties. In the hospitality industry, this naturally usually includes alcohol. So we have our lead, an older black gentleman, drunkenly hitting on his younger white subordinates with every brand of inappropriateness one can imagine.
Naturally, for casting his line 10+ times (perhaps including some descriptive language and/or groping), one of his objects of desire concedes and they go and handle business in a restroom stall.

Scene 2
Now in the car with one of the ladies of his interest to whom he is not married, this one will go JUST as described in the news. He attempts to feel up the lady in his passenger seat who he is supposedly helping to find employment. When she resists, he asks “you need a job don’t you?” and continues by moving her head toward her lap.
Instead of going to the news, she goes along with his requests and the scene continues in the car (or perhaps the back of a limousine).


[Phlip note - this would be a GRAND time for me to add one of those Advertisements I discussed in an earlier post]

Scene 3
No longer CEO, now an up-and-coming politician, Cane is touting his “9-9-9” (which serves PERFECTLY as a double entendre) to any open ears that it may so fall upon, and still behaving badly up to the point of maintaining an extramarital affair with a woman he is financially supporting. Since the alleged real-life affair was with a woman named Ginger, it would make perfect sense that this woman have red hair - a ginger herself.
Rapped for a lack of foreign policy knowledge, he proves his critics wrong by expanding his harem from not only white women to asian and European women as well.

The “out” to the story can come at the very end, where we find the man in a room at an event with ALL of the women he harassed/diddled down through the years… and his wife. Faced with a decision on whether or not to remain in the race, his main advisers all remind him “DO NOT pull out!” at which point we cutaway to fast forward to the closing scene with him and his “wife.”

Roll credits…

jeeze, I am so immature.

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