True Story©... And your damned hashtags
True Story©…
My
level of disdain for people who fake wittiness is beyond measure. Also, sometimes I have a hard time
maintaining my temper in response to such things. With that in mind, I fucking HATE hashtags
for the sake of hashtagging. I
understand the use of them for discussions on a topic on social media, like
last night’s debate or MLB playoffs games.
But cramming a sentence preceded by a pound sign under a post with no
spacing because you thought it was witty is enough to send me into a rage. Seeing them on an email, text message or even
a fucking t-shirt makes it even worse still.
One day
last year, I decided that I’d had enough after a rough morning on The
BookFace. I was off work and home, and
several consecutive posts contained the worthless hashtagging scheme and I was
pushed into action.
First, I spent one hour on Google, Wikipedia and everywhere those sites led me to learn who specifically it was who INVENTED the hashtag, then I set about the task of locating that person with the intentions of fucking assaulting them. 1:15pm, I had my information and was ready to be on my way. Armed with a full tank of gas, no responsibilities until the next day and (of course) these hands, I was ready to hit the road and go whoop an ass or seven.
… then my FUCKING car wouldn’t start.
First, I spent one hour on Google, Wikipedia and everywhere those sites led me to learn who specifically it was who INVENTED the hashtag, then I set about the task of locating that person with the intentions of fucking assaulting them. 1:15pm, I had my information and was ready to be on my way. Armed with a full tank of gas, no responsibilities until the next day and (of course) these hands, I was ready to hit the road and go whoop an ass or seven.
… then my FUCKING car wouldn’t start.
So here
I am, ready to kick ass, knowing precisely who it was to be and why and I am
done in by a selectively inanimate object that chose THIS day to become
inanimate. Instead of getting on the
road to collect a body count over what nonsense their creation caused, I had to
deal instead with a 300k+ mile Subaru doing what 300k+ cars do.
Oh well, I will go get em next time.
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