True Story©... Advice Corner - Take a Working Girl to Prom!

True Story©…

                This is a revisiting of advice I gave at least 10 years ago…
With that in mind, I cannot find what I wrote exactly, so I am paraphrasing/repackaging.

                Those of you who are school age, or who have sons who are of school age, should consider the nuanced advantages of bringing a stripper/escort/prostitute/ to their senior prom.
No, stick with me here…

                Not to let you in on anything more than you need to know, but High School is an awkward time wherein the acquisition of the services of the opposite sex can be a difficult draw.  Sometimes the act of procuring a date to prom can be a bit of a burden.  Between a couple of weird situations with girls I knew and had dated in school and one I had not, I’d reserved to just not going before this girl who worked with me at the time asked me to take her.  I don’t think I have spoken to the girl more than once or twice in the almost 20 years since and assuredly not since 1998.  Whatever…

                I imagine that approaching the situation as a transaction with a predetermined set of expectations and outcomes might have led to a better outcome.  What better outcome is there to be expected than to know whether or not you’re getting some at the end of the night and how much you will have to pay in order to get there?
[Phlip note: I do not condone sex as a retail transaction...  If you can pay for it, then you can play for it]
That leaves you with your choice of situations described above… 
There is the stripper, whose job is to look good in as few articles of clothing as possible.  The stripper is to be understood as a “look but don’t touch” date and usually costs the most per allotted time. 
Next in the line is the escort, her job is ALSO to look good, but by occupation she is better-versed in doing so in social situations.  With her, you’re still expected to look and it is understood that you can touch if the price is right.
Last is the prostitute…  She EXPECTS to be compensated for some activity involving the removal of SOMEONE’S clothes before the night is over.  Hell, she doesn’t much care if it is her own clothes that come off.  Giving her a break from her normal routine to go to a dance might be a welcome sight, but you must first remember that after dark, she is most often dressed in a manner to let you know that she is for sale.  Judgment aimed at her in this social situation is also aimed at you.  More scary, as well, is that some of your homies might have decided to show up to prom without a date in hopes of snaring one of the girls who came with her friends instead of another dude and instead decide to outbid you on your happy ending.

…  yeah, don’t bring the prostitute.

                Now that we have established who to or not to bring to the prom, let’s look at the “why.”
At age 17 or 18, as most of us are at the arrival of their Spring Formal in our Senior year of high school, we might be approaching LOOKING like adults, but we’re around people who have ostensibly known us since we were 4 or 5 and they know better.  In our dash to BE grown, showing up to the Prom with a real adult on our arm could be INSTANT status when arriving back to school on Monday morning, especially if her titties are large enough.  Now how you deal with the fallout of having paid for that arm candy is on you.

                Either way, the difficulty of talking her into pretending to like you, as those types are general wont to do, is out the window.  She doesn’t have to like you and you won’t have to want her to.
[I just used “wont,” “won’t” and “want” in the same sentence, all properly…  take notes, kids, tell your English teacher you love her!]
Fuck it, at the end of the night you won’t EVER have to see her again without unassing a little more bread to do so.  Again, the distance you take it depends solely on you and what you’ll pay.  Companionship?  A little hugging and a couple of kisses?  Raw buttsex outside of your ex girlfriend’s house while her parents are home for splitting up a month before prom?  Getting a little physical at the end of the night?  What’re you paying fella, it ain’t like you were going to marry your prom date anyway were you?

                I understand I am a proprietor of WILDLY bad ideas and ill-intentioned advice that I REALLY hope people follow and commit to video.

Just PLEASE make sure you rubber up!  We don't want you out here excreting purple discharge over some dumb shit.
But now we have it on the table how this terrible idea might not be so bad after all, no?  Now that the two of you have read it, you don’t terribly disagree that you’d enjoy seeing this happen.