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Tuesday, February 14, 2017

True Story© Special Coverage... A Valentime's Day Massacre



The year was 1994, you were in high school...

Your HS crush was someone you saw every day, spoke to every time you saw her, held doors and did cutesy little things for.  You thought nothing of it, but you did it.  When you secured transportation arrangements, she hit you with the “I’ll think about it,” or the “I don’t know, I be busy” or worst yet, the “well I have a boyfriend that goes to [another school]” fib…
That’s right, she curved you.

It is now February of 2017…

She had a baby by that ‘boyfriend that goes to [another school]’ soon after high school and life has been WILD difficult, like so difficult that she gave that loser and two more after him a chance.  Now Valentime’s is approaching and she is single.  Attractive, but single and miserable for it.  By some stroke of luck, you happen to be between relationships at the moment as well and had no real plans for the 14th and take up the task of responding to her lamentations on social media.  For the balance of February, you work this up knowing where it COULD lead if you just say the right words in the right order.  Nothing better to do really, you SAY those words in that order too, and she is TOTALLY warming up to you.  It is now February 8th, you have less than a week to ask her out on Tuesday, provided she can get a sitter or her 16 year-old can watch the littler ones on a school night.
Keep in mind, this is developing only in the realm of possibility, not rooted in any actual plans being made…
…  because, remember those times back in 1995/96, she fucking curved you…

So instead of swooping in to be her White Knight in Shining Armor to give her the Valentine’s day she feels she deserve, YOU prove that that power of petty knows no bounds and return the favor by fucking curving HER.


On Valentime’s day.

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