tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55245891629361967672024-03-17T10:50:38.719-04:00The musings of a madman...Life, love, hip hop, humor AND instructions on how to cook a bangin'-ass meal... all in one place.Phliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16291031449666763308noreply@blogger.comBlogger1359125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5524589162936196767.post-39622284126055896532024-03-14T07:30:00.002-04:002024-03-14T08:10:31.600-04:00True Story©... Get Out Of Jail Free! Life is pretty boring lately…I say that to say that there is plenty going on but most of it is pretty mundane “adulting” shit. I guess one could see how that might mean things are pretty okay but knowing/observing how my brain works, one could ALSO see the need for some excitement. I mean, I know spring is right around the corner and will bring with it constant yard work and Phliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16291031449666763308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5524589162936196767.post-26999096689622770382024-02-29T07:30:00.118-05:002024-02-29T07:30:00.128-05:00True Story©... The Ballad of Jiggaboo Jackson I don’t like going out in public…It isn’t so much that I am antisocial – well I kinda am, but I fuck with who I fuck with and that makes a huge difference – but I have also done an absolute lifetime's worth of fuckshit in the community as the two of you have read in these pages in just the past two years. One of my greatest fears is that I will be out with Wife Person™ Phliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16291031449666763308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5524589162936196767.post-40009453873857327352024-02-22T07:30:00.091-05:002024-02-22T07:30:00.247-05:00True Story©... 24 Hours To Live! What would you do if you were told you had 24 hours to live?Since my cardiac event that landed me in the hospital Summer 2018, I have been dealing with a minefield of doctor and specialists visits usually about every other month. Since the exact cause of my episode could never be pinned down, we keep an eye on everything from my blood pressure, to my asthma and even my Phliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16291031449666763308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5524589162936196767.post-5741536136431298482024-02-15T07:30:00.016-05:002024-02-15T10:06:40.046-05:00True Story©... The Treasure Hunt Pt. II Welcome back… When I left you, I had 15 unsuspecting individuals pining for a prize that only three of them have a chance at and NONE know exactly what the fuck they’re even competing for. I would use the words “I don’t know how I pulled this off,” but I explained in great detail approximately one month ago EXACTLY how I did that.Anyway… Anyone with a modicum of Phliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16291031449666763308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5524589162936196767.post-8476558142046518022024-02-08T07:30:00.023-05:002024-02-08T07:30:00.136-05:00True Story©... The M-O-Equalizer II You ever forget previous promises to make good on past transgressions?I promised back in the spring to make better use of Moe Phillips as a concept and citizen and damn near promptly forgot about that shit in a hailstorm of attempts to pay my mortgage off early among other things.[Phlip note: Rocket is still getting their half-file every other week until I figure this Phliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16291031449666763308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5524589162936196767.post-43838960850437618602024-02-01T07:30:00.102-05:002024-02-01T07:30:00.137-05:00True Story©... My Little Pony Kids are, well, kids…I say that to say they’re loud, they talk too much, they’re restless, they test boundaries and they have not yet learned that it is not normal to repeat EVERYTHING they hear.[Phlip note: to that last point, and given my breaking out into song with the last thing said to me, maybe I am still a kid?]I say all that to say that the raising of kids shouldPhliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16291031449666763308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5524589162936196767.post-34671758275941385172024-01-25T07:30:00.036-05:002024-01-25T08:04:33.961-05:00True Story©… Back to Vegas I have learned a lot about myself in the post Wuhan Bat Flu - America…As the two of you have read in these here pages, I can nearly FREESTYLE a money-making scheme in the course of a workout or sometimes even a simple lunch period. As y’all may well recall, I took that show on the road, literally, back in 2020 when we went to Vegas and I used a few minutes away from Wife Person™ and Phliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16291031449666763308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5524589162936196767.post-24009384840426367812024-01-18T07:30:00.047-05:002024-01-18T07:30:00.137-05:00True Story©... The Treasure Hunt I tend to try to mind my own damned business most of the time.My brain, however, is a BUSY place and a torturous situation comes from when I am forced against my will to re-litigate old cases. Worry not, nothing happening here has been discussed in previous stories. Anyways… When I run back down memory lane sometimes I get NEW mad all over again, sometimes as pissed as one Phliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16291031449666763308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5524589162936196767.post-77045854157606361192024-01-11T07:30:00.121-05:002024-01-11T08:04:32.624-05:00True Story©… Mighty Moe Phitness I know it feels like I talk about this a lot lately, but by the time the two of you read this, I will be within 20 ounces of the lowest I have weighed since I discovered food and alcohol as a combination. Even that low-water mark was the result of a bad accident that led to a broken jaw and me off of solid foods for eight weeks in 2003. Covid season Phliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16291031449666763308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5524589162936196767.post-10032190512568900942024-01-04T07:30:00.002-05:002024-01-04T07:54:56.522-05:00True Story©… A (Tree) House of Cards I’m a bit of what’s called an autodidact. If you don’t know what that is, it means that I am a self-taught person. I have my hands in a lot of things that I am quite good at; lawn care, basic car maintenance, minor household repairs – handyman shit – as well as building things and of course writing. If it can be done with basic hand tools, I am him. If it Phliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16291031449666763308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5524589162936196767.post-684867113062995332023-12-28T07:30:00.001-05:002023-12-28T08:14:28.125-05:00True Story©… A Very Merry Woodpenis Christmas “Frenemies”
If you have ever watched Justified on
FX as I did when I binged all six seasons and the whole of the spinoff a few
months ago, you know what that is. As
you may or not be aware, I have made a bit of one of those in our own local law
enforcement here lately. I promise shit
didn’t start out that way, but a strange series of mishaps made that Phliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16291031449666763308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5524589162936196767.post-67658969631273099682023-12-21T07:30:00.012-05:002023-12-21T08:24:59.412-05:00True Story©… Watching The Neighborhood Most of the time, I mind my own damned business. Sure, my eyes are open and my head is on a swivel as I walk around my neighborhood three times a day but that is more for loose dogs and (now) kidnappers.I have learned here recently as this past Monday that my neighbors are watching or noticing me as I walk about. There is the family on the corner that adopted a little dog namedPhliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16291031449666763308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5524589162936196767.post-73013369500570687252023-12-14T07:30:00.014-05:002023-12-14T07:59:39.225-05:00True Story©… Get In The Van! I know I say this
a lot here lately, but… Humble brag: I
am in what is among the best shape of my adult life. This will matter to this story in just a
moment.
As it got colder,
I retreated my workouts into the garage on the cycle, then eventually to
spreading it out over the course of the days, usually in 15-minute increments
Phliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16291031449666763308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5524589162936196767.post-9724347690941623382023-12-07T07:30:00.026-05:002023-12-07T07:30:00.135-05:00True Story©… Am-Knees-Ya pt. II - The Finale … and we’re back!
if you weren’t here or don’t recall what transpired last week, please click
here before continuing or this won’t end up making much sense to you.
So the doctor
comes sprinting down the ward and into the room, breathlessly asking the nurse
what was awry.
Nurse: “The mescaline worked, but I don’t think it worked-worked"
Doctor: “W-what do you meanPhliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16291031449666763308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5524589162936196767.post-42892958069956736732023-11-30T07:30:00.025-05:002023-11-30T08:24:20.076-05:00True Story©… Am-Knees-Ya I have not changed
the address on my license since 2008, when we moved down from the far end of
the county back into the city. I have
thought about it, but the need for Real ID requires that I set foot inside the
DMV to do it. Furthermore, my (retired)
mom still lives at the address that is on my license so the emergency
situations that might arise from Phliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16291031449666763308noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5524589162936196767.post-26229271030212272692023-11-23T07:30:00.009-05:002023-11-23T07:30:00.142-05:00True Story©… The Big (little) Getback Y’know? Sometimes I have the toughest of times getting
out of my own damned way. I should say,
I guess, that my own way finds a way of staying in front of me. Every time I think I have dispatched of a
former situation, something directly related to it finds its way back into my
life.
As the two of you
may recall, I once Phliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16291031449666763308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5524589162936196767.post-19043498171599377662023-11-09T07:30:00.020-05:002023-11-16T09:51:07.029-05:00True Story©... Prison Outreach I’ll be honest,
life has been difficult and assuredly less fun since having to abandon the Moe
Phillips name…
Imagine YEARS of using a contrived identity with which to complete the tasks of
various entertaining endeavors, legality bedamned, and just having to throw
them all out the window because of a detective with a funny name.
As we Phliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16291031449666763308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5524589162936196767.post-7241421202024106692023-11-09T07:30:00.008-05:002023-11-09T07:30:00.146-05:00True Story©… My Life in (Bad) Timing … and we’re back! It should be noted
that I spend roughly a third of my time alone with my dogs. Wife
Person™ leaves for work at 7am, and twenty minutes later I take Ava to my
mom to drop off at school, from which she will also be the one to pick her
up. I am out and back before I clock in
by 8am. I am in the house by myself
until Wife Person™Phliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16291031449666763308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5524589162936196767.post-81723230086966196312023-10-26T07:30:00.034-04:002023-10-26T09:16:17.647-04:00True Story©… Wrist Twistin’ Kitchen Sometimes my
boredom takes me to WILD places…
Y’all remember back in 2020, when I got furloughed from work
and snared the information of and finagled some time on the phone with a TV
exec?
[link]
What about now?
Well I am not
saying all of that to say that I have been furloughed again. I have actually made a pretty good go of life
Phliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16291031449666763308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5524589162936196767.post-14074853118021795742023-10-19T07:30:00.040-04:002023-10-19T09:57:10.640-04:00True Story©… ‘Tis the Season I am beginning to
feel like I am running low on options…
My face is known in the community after my previous attempt
at shaking things up using people’s short-sightedness for details.
Detective Woodpenis is onto me and I can’t use the Moe Phillips name as a
shield for criminal enterprise, lest he will perk up and show his face back at my house.
I need something Phliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16291031449666763308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5524589162936196767.post-4274461683940989082023-10-12T07:30:00.025-04:002023-10-12T08:06:51.813-04:00True Story©… Drinkin’ Buddies My life is largely
not what it has been for the most of my adult life. Most people I know know me well enough to
text me instead of calling. I prefer things
that way, as it forces people to the point and elicits a better response from
me, what with knowing that a text is committing to a repeatable (or screen-shottable, to make up a word)
medium.
Phliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16291031449666763308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5524589162936196767.post-23692232600434224332023-10-05T07:30:00.023-04:002023-10-05T08:55:33.974-04:00 True Story©… Green Thumbin’ This summer, I
pulled in side money with my lawn mower and arming myself with a collection of
sob stories to sell up the source of my abilities.
All told, the hustle made me a plenty of extra cash for sneakers and narcotics
using my spare time while also serving as a several-hours-a-week supplement to
my weekly exercise regimen.
It stands to
Phliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16291031449666763308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5524589162936196767.post-31715936214193432462023-09-28T07:30:00.008-04:002023-09-28T08:20:22.411-04:00True Story©… And That’s The way… [Phlip Note: this is a collaborative effort, cowritten by Mr. Ssippi]Nobody:
Me:
“Shouldn't the Brady Bunch DAUGHTERS have
another last name other than Brady?”
We came to this
conclusion through extensive research that Carol made Mike adopt all three
kids. It worked out well as she had
poisoned her daughters against their biological father and wanted to make sure
Phliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16291031449666763308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5524589162936196767.post-16499795893930926572023-09-21T07:30:00.033-04:002023-09-21T08:36:33.432-04:00True Story©… The Nauga Farmer(look who's back, y'all!) This honestly
could have stopped with PETA, but they didn’t wanna play along.
… no, seriously, click that link and come back here when you’re
done…
Welcome back…
So anyway, this whole shit could have stopped with PETA, but now I am here
concerned with the plight of the poor Naugas, of which I now have a small ranch
that I amPhliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16291031449666763308noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5524589162936196767.post-39341315899107612182023-09-14T07:30:00.094-04:002023-09-14T07:54:33.880-04:00True Story©... Unwitting AlliesIn this journey, I have made a lot of
acquaintances. For such a not-people-person,
people tend to be drawn to me and this comes as a shock and even annoyance to
me sometimes. I am good to the ones I like, try to maintain a civil indifference to the ones I’m
“even” on, and a marked indifference
to the ones I don’t like. New people tend to not like me at first and usually
warm up to me. It is my Phliphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16291031449666763308noreply@blogger.com0