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Showing posts with the label democrats

Donny Got Barz™ -- Alabama Aftermath

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     I knew he would pull some shit like this. In a week where he was unable to push a GOP senate candidate over the finish line in the reddest state on the planet despite coming dangerously close considering that man is also probably a pedophile, we knew he would be a bit pissed coming into what he has up next. I kept F5’ing his back-channel Twitter to see what we would get in response.  It seems we were only given 12 bars this week after a couple of weeks off.      It seems this man lives to blame anyone but himself or anyone whose position he agrees with. Roy Moore is Roy Moore’s problem.  He has openly longed for the days where slavery was a minor nuisance to the strongest time ever for American families, has pined to do away with very constitutional amendment after the 10 th and most famously HAS MORE THAN LIKELY TRIED TO FUCK CHILDREN! None of those are relevant to this situation.  The Democrats, they’re the red herring.  Obama, despite having

2012 Election, The Aftermath pt IV

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Trump:  “Okay, Governor Christie, are you with us or are you against us?” Christie:  “I never said I was against you.  I questioned who stands to benefit from being WITH you?” Trump:  “AMERICA stands to benefit.  It is high time we take back America!” West:  “Yeah!!! Take back America!” Christie:  “’Take back America’ from who?” Mitt:  “From the moochers.  From the people in America who are only here for liberal handouts.  From those people who want to take, take, take but can never be bothered with putting back into the system themselves via working for a paycheck and paying taxed, from the people who--…” Christie:  “From the people who watched their houses washed away from a hurricane and genuinely NEED FEMA?  And let us not go talking about taxes, buddy!  Right now, I am apparently a hot commodity in the party.  The President came up and spoke with me, he spoke civilly and we got stuff done in the interest of doing right by those who ne

2012 Election, The Aftermath pt III

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     We resume with the same cast of characters sitting at the meeting room table.  Romney still seated at the head of the table and Chris Christie, Donald Trump, Allen West, and Todd Akin flanking him.  Paul Ryan is still in the hallway with Ron Paul and does not appear to have left for the day.  Karl Rove is nowhere to be found and no one has bothered checking the basement to see if he stayed there or simply left on his own. Trump:  “Paul, if you promise to shut up until addressed, you may rejoin the group.” Paul Ryan:  “Thank you” And with that, he rejoined the conversation. Mitt:  “Okay… our problem here is that the American people are beginning to see a divide between ourselves and the other party.  They have apparently tired of being kicked and insulted.  The numbers of the gays, women and minorities are matching those of White Anglo-Saxon Protestant males in numbers well enough to dictate that we appear to stop pandering to the richest among us.” Christi

2012 Election, The Aftermath pt II

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With all eyes on the door to the room, in walks New Jersey Governor, Chris Christie. Chris Christie: “Hi guys!” Mitt: “You sonofabitch! Why the hell did you have to give that--… *looks at Allen West*   Why did you give him a damned reacharound on national TV?” Christie: “Easy, Mittens… I am a sitting Governor, and I have PEOPLE to govern.  If my PEOPLE are in need of help after a natural disaster a week before it gets cold, it serves my own best interest to not be the only house in the state with electricity  Election year politics be damned.” Romney: “But, but… you made him look like a GOOD president!” Christie: “Unfortunate timing I know, but at that moment he WAS doing what good Presidents do.  By the way… I figured you guys might be a little hungry since it IS 4 in the morning, so I brought some donuts.  5 of them are gone, but I only ate 4 myself.  Ron Paul looked pitiful out there, so I gave him the strawberry one out in the hallway.” West: “SHIT!  Strawber

2012 Election, the Aftermath pt I

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As a matter of fair warning; my imagination is apparently one of the most dangerous places on this planet. This morning (well, the morning as of when I type this sentence – 7:39pm on Sunday November 11 th ), while I was cutting my grass I had this strange idea related to the fact that we have not much heard from Mitt Romney or anyone in his camp in the days since his failure to make good on his ascension to the office that he apparently felt that he was entitled to.  I do not recall how long it was before we heard from Old Man River John McCain in 2008, and I didn’t care how long it was with Gore and Kerry in 2000 and 2004, respectively.      This morning, my imagination intervened and created a situation that serves it that politicians and their ilk are these vast teams of supervillains, who sit around at large marble conference room tables and make conspiratorial plans to take off their rivals, and that each failed attempt – like last Tuesday’s embarrassment – represents

Phlip fixes our problems with the election

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            2012, an election year… As it is an election year, it was ALSO an Olympics year.  Of late, as in the last 4 weeks we have witnessed a few Presidential/Vice-Presidential debates.  To be totally honest, the debates were the most contentious and therefore entertaining that I have seen in my voting life.  At 33 years of age, this will have been the 4 th election I have been able to legally vote in (and I have voted in each, for the record) and that fact got me to thinking.             The Electoral College renders votes in some states more valuable than others, and that has caused some people to simply decide not to bother with voting at all.  Strangely, as I mentioned on another site last week, those “I ain’t gonna vote” votes have a newfound value to the people who want you to vote for Romney simply because he isn’t black Obama.             Ever the revolutionary, I daydreamed a means of making the whole voting contest as entertaining as these were – more ente